It’s crazy to think about how much my life has changed in the last 7 months. Before coming into DAA I was a full time heroin and crack addict. My day consisted of waking up without any memory of the night before, if I was lucky enough I’d saved my morning shot and that gave me the energy to make my way to try get money to score. I was in and out of cash converters and CEX, borrowing money of who ever I could. I remember convincing my neighbor to give me 50 quid once, when I think back, I must have come across as such a mess.
I was always lying to everyone around me and slowly over the years I lost my friends, they were sick and tired of my bullshit and watching me decline. I felt so lonely that when I tried to stop using, I found it too painful, I didn’t want to live, and I didn’t feel I had what it takes to live. I was able to get clean, sometimes for a month or two but in the back of my head I was fixated on heroin and crack. Even without it in my body, it ruled my life. I found life without drugs too difficult and always ended up back on it. I even went on a script for subutex and tried lots of different support groups and therapy, while the subutex kept things at bay for a bit, ultimately it didn’t work.
I wound up shacking up in a garage and was using heavily, I’d had a couple of major overdoses and I felt like I was never really sure if I was gonna wake up each morning. I’d spent 6 months desperate to stop using, I would rattle for 4 days then use, it all seemed pointless but I had no idea what to do.
I remember being on my knees in tears when I realised that I wasn’t able to do this, I didn’t have the answer, I was so scared. I got in contact with someone from DAA who I knew from their using days, I had seen that they were looking great, had a successful career and a loving relationship. This was the stuff that I wanted. They took me to a meeting and became my sponsor. They explained to me that if I followed the 12-step programme that I would surely get better and my life would change.
6 months later here I am. Not only am I clean and sober, I have a contracted part time job, I am actually renting a room in a house share which is the most stable living situation I’ve ever had. I have love in my life and I am able to start re-building old friendships that I thought were ruined. I don’t think about using drugs every day, hardly ever in fact. My life has changed dramatically in such a short amount of time and it’s all thanks to DAA and the 12-step programme. I have been given set of tools to help me live my best life and I am surrounded by the support of my friends in DAA. Best of all, my dog who was dragged around with me from smack house to dealer, nodding out in the car park and laying beside me when I’ve overdosed, now he gets a great life too. I can tell he’s so much happier. We both are.
Trev