My name is Tony and I'm a recovered addict.
When I was young I felt different, like I didn't fit in. I felt awkward and alone, even when I was in a crowd of my friends. I eventually ended up trying alcohol and found that it changed the way I felt straight away. Then I discovered cannabis and found it helped me to fit in. I tried speed and felt amazing. When I took pills I found it much easier to get on with people. I found through drugs and alcohol a way out; they gave me confidence and social standing.
I found myself selling drugs and committing crime after crime to fund my addiction. I eventually ended up in prison and this was my first indication that I may have a problem but I still wasn't quite ready to do anything about it. I soon relapsed after release from prison.
After making so many promises that this would be the start of something great - but as usual my drug problem got in the way. By now I was into class A drugs in a big way. Coke, crack and heroin were on the table and I loved it - I finally found my solution.
I then met a girl. She got pregnant and I swore that I would stop for her and I did for a short while. But I couldn't stay stopped, not for her, or for the baby. My addiction had taken over and my illness was progressing. It took my use of heroin, crack and drinking to new heights.
I became isolated, antisocial, moody and depressed. I couldn't see a way out my addict life. It seemed like the only normal one so I tried to end my own life. I woke up in hospital scarred and battered from my failed attempt at suicide. All I could think about was using the one thing that I crave that destroys me. That was the insanity of my life now.
I eventually ended up in prison because of my using. I tried going to church, doing a course to educate myself and all I can think about is...? You guessed it - drugs.
I know I that I'm bang in trouble so I applied for treatment and I get a place in rehab. But unfortunately rehab didn't work. It was an amazing place but it didn't work for me. I left rehab and still wanted to use. That's when I asked a member of DAA to take me through the 12 steps of Drug Addicts Anonymous. After I went through the process of the 12 Steps I'm pleased to tell you I found a way out and I recovered. I'm 18 months clean now and I can say I have some hope if you relate to my story. Maybe we can help. I hope you find us soon.
Tony